You didn’t hear a lot from me last year. That wasn’t necessarily planned, but what in life is?

Goodbye, 2022. You’ve taught me so much. We learn from experiences, and particularly from mistakes. Last year, 2022 took me to more places than in all of my previous years, mentally, emotionally, and physically. While I will never stop having experiences or making mistakes, I believe 2023 is the year I apply all the lessons I have gathered from experiences of traveling on my own in Italy and holding a sorority leadership position in charge of 32 new members. More on those lessons later. What I want to talk about in this post is what is in and what is out in 2023. First up is what is out in 2023.

Out:

holding on to the idea of my life as a rom-com

I recently got into podcasts, and in Barstool’s PlanBri Uncut, Brianna offers funny stories and advice about living life in your early 20’s with her childhood bestie Grace. And while this podcast makes me believe I could totally start a podcast with my best friend, it also makes me believe that early 20’s are supposed to be about self-exploration. It makes me feel seen, as a woman in her early 20’s. With the title of this section, I am specifically referencing their 121st episode. The girls emphasize that everyone is on their own path. Bri is a college drop-out touring the country with her own line of merch and popular podcast. I am a college senior with unanswered graduate school applications. Comparing the two of us would be illogical, not to mention comparing yourself to anyone else. Things happen. Life happens. It is not the plot of a rom-com. What matters is not what you haven’t achieved (boyfriend, job, etc), but the attitude you bring into every day (optimistic, self-assured, etc). Gaining confidence and trust in myself is the best thing I can do for a successful future, not comparing my life to the lives of rom-com characters.

negative self-talk

In keeping with the theme of confidence and trust in myself, I have been working on this within my own head. The relationship I have with myself is the longest relationship I will ever have. I know for sure that I would never be friends or romantic partners with someone who talks down to me. I would certainly cut off anyone who makes mean critical remarks or tries to tear me down. So, why would I talk to myself in any kind of negative way? This relationship is one I want to cultivate to be trusting and encouraging. I have begun talking to myself as I would a friend. If I make a mistake, I do not cut to “I’m so stupid!” I do not cut to “I should have known!” Instead, I intentionally speak with kindness because that’s what I expect from my friends, and I am with myself way more than I am with my friends. It is life-changing.

In:

concerts

I am so grateful that I have plans to go to two concerts this summer, literally back to back: Morgan Wallen one day and Taylor Swift the next. I have always loved concerts for the way they bring people together in such a tangible way. Thousands of people listening to our collective favorite artist all within a few hundred yards of each other brings out visceral emotions that usually lead me to tears. It’s a feeling of unity, of gratefulness, of a shared human condition. The way that a single artist can make so many people feel deeply enough to want to see the performance live promotes a shared understanding. It’s a bond between artist-fan and fan-fan that makes me love music that much. Not only concerts with a famous artist, but concerts with unknown artists, too. Live music in general brings people together. That, I think, is what it means to be human.

reading

I was an avid reader growing up. I would sneakily read in elementary school classes and while walking through the hallway. I would reward myself with reading once I finished my math homework. The house could burn down around me and I wouldn’t notice if I had a book in my hand is what my mother used to say. That trance that reading put me in, combined with focusing on writing my own books, led me away from reading as much as I used to. It is something I have gotten back into recently, and I have already finished three books this year. Reading encourages me to spend time off of my phone, which is a huge plus. It stimulates my creative side and inspires me to write more. Plus, reading has gotten bigger on social media. #booktok is bursting with endless book recs. A recent read that I whole-heartedly recommend is “Daisy Jones & the Six” by Taylor Jenkins Reid. In fact, I recommend everything written by her. I’ll keep you up to date with my recent reads as I post more here this year.

There is so much more to say about what is in and what is out this year – Out: trauma dumping, misery-based friendships, moving out of the sidewalk for men; In: skincare, holding yourself & others accountable, less screen time – but I picked my top trends.

Happy reading, happy concert-going, and happy self-love, friends. Peace!