This post is inspired by a recent Mel Robbins podcast titled, “Feeling Lost in Your 20s? You Need to Hear This.” In the episode, she discusses how 20-somethings today are overwhelmed by information overload. We know what every single person – friend, family, stranger, celebrity – is doing with their lives, thanks to social media. That is not normal. And that certainly was not the case for older generations. Because we know what every person is doing with their lives, we get introduced to a plethora of directions we can go in our own lives.
With five minutes spent on Instagram, I can see a wedding, baby announcement, cross-country travel picture, cross-world travel picture, job promotion, friend get-together, new house, you name it, all from people who graduated the same year as me. So which option do I choose? None of these events can occur overnight, so which direction should I start pursuing?
The Problem Told From Literature
In The Bell Jar, Sylvia Plath uses a fig tree as an analogy to describe this same phenomenon her 20-year-old main character is experiencing. As she is climbing a fig tree, she sees several ripe figs. Each fig represents a path she could pursue in her life. But how does she know which fig to pick? Picking one means not picking the rest. She is too overwhelmed to make a decision, and the figs rotten and fall.
The Problem Told From Psychology
Mel describes the following psychology experiment done in 2000: A table of jams were set up for people to try and buy at a grocery store. On one day, the table had six jam options, and on the other day, it had 24 jam options. People presented with only six jams were ten times more likely to buy a jam than when given more options.
The Takeaway
Too many options results in inaction.
Choice, analysis, or decision paralysis – whatever you call it, it can have detrimental effects on your well-being and self-confidence.
The Solution
A very smart and similarly self-reflective friend of mine told me about an exercise inspired by this experiment. She said to ask yourself: what are your six jams in life? This shift in perspective lowers the stakes from having to pick just one jam (aka life path), while also narrowing your options to a digestible number.
Now, let’s build on this. When presented with a decision to make, instead of making the “right” decision, just make a decision, advises Mel. So now that you have your six jams, pick one to taste test today. This means take one step in one direction. If you don’t like it, try another one tomorrow, or next month, or next decade. Or eat multiple at the same time. The rest won’t go bad.
We are human, not perishable fruit preserves!
And to reiterate what Mel reassures her listeners with: our lives do not stop when we turn 30! The 20s decade is meant to be a transformative time, not a permanent time. What I do now sets me up for the future, but doesn’t determine it. Also, I am still finding what works for me. Find what works for you! Just remember, any decision is better than none.
Let me know in the comments what your six jams are. They can be careers, lifestyles, environments, accomplishments, etc. Happy jamming!
xoxo,
kc
photo credits: google images
Colorful Life 
One of my favorites that you’ve written…I love that life doesn’t end when you turn 30! There is something in here for everyone, whether you’re 25 or 55.
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Love this post! This seems to be the million dollar question! I love the ability to choose your jams and have multiple because it helps you learn more about yourself, your passions, and helps you grow into the person you want to be! And the best thing is that it’s all part of a process! The journey and the destination are both valuable!
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